Despite their best efforts, T.J. Yates, Tyler Palko, and Kevin Kolb all won NFL games this week. Not BQBL games — actual professional American football games. Yates won because a defensive hold negated his pick-six, Palko won because he was up against Caleb Hanie, and Kolb won because, well, there’s only one way to put this: Dallas coach Jason Garrett iced his own kicker. Oh yeah, you know who else won? The greatest quarterback in the history of the NFL: Timothy Richard Tebow.

Timothy Richard Tebow’s success has gone from shocking to flukey to confusing, and has finally landed on expected. I watched the Broncos-Vikings game in a bar Sunday, and as it entered the fourth quarter, every completed pass, positive run, and cutaway to Timothy Richard on the sideline was met with screams and chants of “Teeeeeebooooooooow!” There was not a single soul in the place watching another game or rooting against Timothy Richard. Now that Timothy Richard has a hold on the division lead, there is only one man, one bad quarterback on the planet who could loosen his hold on the zeitgeist — The Gunslinger, Brett Lorenzo Favre. Please, please, please return, Gunslinger. Please, Gunslinger. The Bears need you, the BQBL needs you. Besides, we all know you’re jealous of the attention Tebow is getting. We all know how much you love to see your face on ESPN.com. Just think about how good it would look on the BQBL Summer Jam Screen.

Please, Gunslinger.

This week there was no Gunslinger, but let’s have a look at the BQBs who turned in some truly pick-tastic gunslingeryish performances:

Have you ever danced the electric slide? Don’t lie, you have. Tucked away deep in the file cabinet that is your memory lies a manila folder labeled, “Dances I Do Every Three Years At Weddings,” which contains an incomplete road map of steps you could never replicate without the help of those around you. So when the wedding DJ throws on that deplorable song and everyone hits the floor, you just try to keep up with the rest of the revelers — and not draw attention to yourself or ruin the flow of the group. In Week 12, Caleb Hanie, Tyler Palko, Blaine Gabbert, Curtis Painter, and T.J. Yates played the quarterback position in the NFL the same way you dance the electric slide. They tried only not to draw attention to themselves or ruin the flow of the group. It didn’t work … for them. Worked like a charm for those that started them in the BQBL.