In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports over the weekend.
Stephen Strasburg struck out seven over six scoreless innings to earn his 10th win of the year as the Nationals beat the Marlins 4-0. In the home locker room, Ozzie Guillen took a long hard look at himself in the mirror and realized he had to motivate his team. It had been too long. Without wasting another second, he took out his iPhone and Googled "inspiring Fidel Castro quotes."
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports over the weekend.
In the Western Conference Finals, Manu Ginobili's 26 points led the red-hot Spurs to a 101-98 Game 1 win over the Thunder. In the interest of full disclosure, my editors forced me to include the words "red-hot Spurs" in order to attract a growing demographic: fans of Western-themed erotic web fiction. They Google like crazy, guys. With that in mind, please feel free to skim past these next few hot-button search engine phrases: mud-caked chaps, Dirty Horse Tavern, buxom cattle wrangler, bare-chested prairie Adonis, Annie Oakley's suggestive gun-twirling, Dirty Horse Tavern, wild tobacky love, sun-bruised lips on a cruel cowboy, a demure smile beneath a lace parasol, el caballo sucio, the word "arrow" used as a double entendre, sunset desert love, horrible wagon train massacre, Dirty Horse Tavern.
