PART 1 ♦ PART 2 ♦ PART 3 ♦ PART 4 ♦ PART 5 ♦ PART 6 ♦ PART 7 ♦ PART 8 ♦ PART 9 ♦ PART 10 ♦ PART 11 ♦ PART 12 ♦ PART 13 ♦ PART 14 ♦ PART 15 ♦ PART 16

Sing it with me: "I'll be there for yoooooooou … (for only twelve hundred bucks) … I'll be there for yoooooooooou … (I'll lower it another two) … I'll be there for yooooooooou … (I'll take seven but no lower) …"

For the life of me I don't know why I don't own this picture yet. Welcome to my childhood. (Thinking.) Maybe I'll buy it for the collecting beard's bedroom.

I think Nolan Ryan started this trend with the 200,000 photos he signed (and counting) of him kicking Robin Ventura's ass: It's the retroactive, trash-talking, sports-memorabilia market! Here's a framed photo of Chuck Bednarik's famous hit that knocked out Frank Gifford for nearly two seasons, which Chuck decided to sign, "Sorry Frank, this game is f-ing over!" Whoa! Fifteen yards for taunting!!! I just wish a still-concussed Frank had signed it, "You're so perky!" (Wait, nobody got that last joke? You don't remember Frank's stewardess scandal from the late 1990s? Come on people, work with me!)

This signed Al Davis check is going to skyrocket in value when he dies six years ago.

Here's a Chiefs practice sign from the early '90s (signed by Joe Montana and Marcus Allen, among others). I sent it to my buddy Connor (a die-hard Chiefs fan) explaining what it was, telling him the price ($600) and jokingly asking if I should buy it for him and have him pay me back later. His response: "Is Derrick Thomas on there?" That's the great thing about the Collectors Convention: You can lose your mind on a certain item without even being there.

My favorite running subplot of the 2011 NSCC: Whenever three collectors wearing ghastly Hawaiian shirts inadvertently wander within two feet of each other, or as it's more commonly known, "The Triple Hawaiian." You'll see it happen maybe two or three times per day, and it's always special — especially when there's an unbilled cameo from a fourth guy wearing jorts. I don't know what I want more from the 2012 NSCC in Baltimore: a vintage red no. 33 Pats jersey that fits me, or a picture with a collector who's wearing a Hawaiian shirt with jorts.

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